FUN....and other stuff!

Here at East Crompton St James, we believe that being a Christian should not only be spiritually fulfilling, but also FUN!

This page is dedicated to Christian humour, jokes and laughs, which we encourage you to contribute to. E-mail them to us and we'll publish them...

Dear God, give me this day my daily opinion, and forgive the one I had yesterday!

A coincidence is a small miracle in which God chooses to remain silent!

Never drive faster than your angels can fly!

A day hemmed in prayer is less likely to unravel!

God saw a tear, and wiped it away with the smile of a friend!

If there were no other proof of the infinite patience of God with men, a very good one could be found in His toleration of the pictures that are painted of Him!

Doctor's don't know everything, really. They understand matter, not spirit. And you and I live in spirit!

It isn't those parts of the bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand! 

A faithful friend is an image of God (French proverb)

God often visits us, but most of the time we are not at home (French proverb)

The love of money and love of learning seldom meet. (Anon)

When in doubt, tell the truth (Mark Twain)

FUEL FOR THOUGHT - This is about four people. Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody.    There was an important job to be done, and Everybody was sure Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry because it was Everybodys job. Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realised that Somebody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody, when actually Nobodyasked Anybody!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The old believe everything; the middle-aged suspect everything; the young know everything. (Oscar Wilde)

"He that would be angry and not sin, must be angry at nothing but sin." (Rev'd William Secker, 17th century)

"A lot of kneeling will leave you in good standing"

"Don't wait for 6 strong men to take you to Church"

"Plan ahead - at wasn't raining when Noah built the ark"

"Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can't, and the other half is composed of those who have nothing to say and keep on saying it." (Robert Frost)

"Discussion is an exchange of knowledge; argument is an exchange of ignorance."

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen." (Winston Churchill)

"If you listen to constructive criticism you will be at home among the wise." Proverbs 15:31

When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life in a manner so that when you die the world cries and you rejoice. (Native American proverb)

LAST WORDS - Inventor: Thomas Edison (1847-1931) Oh my, it's very beautiful over there.     French Scientist: Pierre Simon Marquis de Laplace (1749-1827) What we know is not much; what we do not know is immense.  Physicist; Sir Isaac Newton (1642-1727) I do not know what I seem to the world, but to myself I appear to have been like a boy playing upon the seashore and diverting myself and then finding a smoother pebble or prettier shell than ordinary, while the great ocean of truth lay before me all undiscovered.

"No, I do not become discouraged. You see, God has not called me to a ministry of success. He has called me to a ministry of mercy. (Mother Teresa)

W B Hinson, an inflential minister, spoke from his own experience just before he died. He said, "I remember a year ago when a doctor told me, 'You have an illness from which you won't recover.' I walked out to where I live 5 miles from Portland, Oregon, and I looked across at that mountain that I love. I looked at the river in which I rejoice, and I looked at the stately trees that are always God's own poetry to my soul. Then in the evening I looked up into the great sky where God was lighting His lamps, and I said, I may not see you many more times, but mountain, I shall be alive when you are gone; and river, I shall be alive when you cease running toward the sea; and stars, I shall be alive when you have fallen from your sockets in the great down-pulling of the material universe!'"

"It is better to be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt." Mark Twain

A selection of quotations and stories from A Barrel of Fun, J John and Mark Stibbe, Monarch Books.

The person who views the world at 40 the same as they did at 20 has wasted 20 years of their life.

A new Christian confessed to having a problem with alcohol. She said "It goes straight to my head". She was nervous about taking Holy Communion for the first time because even a sip of wine would make her tipsy. After the service, she told the minister that her fears had been unfounded. "What happened?" asked the Vicar. She replied, "It went straight to my heart."

The winds of God are always blowing, but you must set the sails.

God doesn't believe in atheists. J John

The world says, 'I'll believe it when I see it.' The Christian says. 'I'll see it when I believe it.' Mark Stibbe

A rejected opportunity to give is a missed opportunity to receive.